Some thoughts on… Living Life

September was a momentous month.  In a three week period, we were part of 2 weddings and 1 funeral, and the events have reinforced perspectives and priorities in our life.

The first wedding was between Ilan Gutherz and Sonali Bloom, who we have known since she was five when studying for our PhD at Columbia with her father David.  She essentially was our first god-daughter.  The wedding was held in the middle of a rainstorm in a beautiful garden on the campus of Wellesley College.  It was a monsoon wedding, with the skies pouring down blessings in the middle of the ceremony. 

Everything was perfect.  The event emphasized why society looks forward to marriages –  the beginning of a life together, the shared commitment of two families, the love of relatives and friends.  The most cherished feeling is the sense that a new generation takes on the responsibility of protecting the future of the planet through the bond they create.

The funeral was the death of Alexandra, the 11-year old daughter of our close friends Anne and Mario.  She passed away after a brave nine month fight with osteosarcoma (bone cancer) which was diagnosed in January.  The aggression of the tumor was startling, but throughout Alexandra battled with the tenacity of a child who knows she has an entire life in front of her.

 

There is no plausible explanation for such tragedy.  Children, who were healthy less than a year ago, should not pass away.  Life provides scant fairness and little comfort.  All we can do is hope for healing, strength and serenity for the survivors.

The second wedding was between Klaus and myself. We had over 160 people attend out in Sag Harbor, and it was joyous despite and because of the other events.  

If there is a learning we take from September, it is that life is precious because of the love that we share with the ones around us.  As described in the reading by my sister at our ceremony from The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery, life only has true meaning when we take responsibility for the ones we tame (an abridged version of the text is below).

The point of life is to live it.  We eventually must part from the ones we are responsible for, making it all the more important that we cherish the precious moments, occasions and time that we do have with them. 

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Excerpt from The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery

It was then that the fox appeared.

“Good morning,” said the fox.

“Good morning,” the little prince responded politely, although when he turned around he saw nothing.

“I am right here,” the voice said, “under the apple tree.”

“Who are you?” asked the little prince and added, “You are very pretty to look at.”

“I am a fox,” the fox said.

“Come and play with me,” proposed the little prince, “I am so unhappy.”

“I cannot play with you,” the fox said, “I am not tamed.”

“Ah! Please excuse me,” said the little prince.  But after some thought, he added, “What does that mean – ‘tame’?”

…

“It is an act too often neglected,” said the fox. “It means to establish ties.”

“ ‘To establish ties’ ?”

“Just that,” said the fox. “To me you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys.  And I have no need of you.  And you, on your part, have no need of me.  To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes.  But if you tame me, then we shall need each other.  To me, you will be unique in all the world.  To you, I shall be unique in all the world…”

…

“Please – tame me!”

“I want to, very much,” the little prince replied. “But I have not much time. I have friends to discover, and great many things to understand.”

“One only understand the things that one tames,” said the fox. “Men have no more time to understand anything.  They buy things all ready made at the shops.  But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more.  If you want a friend, tame me…”

“What must I do, to tame you?” asked the little prince.

“You must be very patient,” replied the fox.

…

“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

…

“Men have forgotten this truth,” said the fox, “But you must not forget it.  You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.”

 

October 4, 2013